There is a lot of information about how to tell your partner your sexual kinks, but what if another situation? As a member of the couple, how should you express your support when your partner asks for help? This situation is different from usual; it is a bit subtle. After all, it may involve something you have never seen before. This is why we provide this information to you.
Kinkly.com defines “kink” as “an umbrella term used to describe a wide range of sexual activities that are considered to be unconventional or unorthodox.” Due to our cultural environment, many people tend to hide their actual situation. People who are afraid of being treated as freaks are everywhere. However, this is not the reason you can accept them in their entirety. We still have to make decisions based on our ideas.
You have to know it’s not easy for them to share this. They endure the risk of embarrassment, and we can’t respond with the worst response. An immediate response should be “Thank you for telling me about these situations,” at least indicating that you value them.
This is a good response. But what is the wrong answer? I guess you should want to get some. Remember, don’t deal with laughter; it doesn’t apply to all situations. If there is any embarrassment, use these nine coping styles to get through the storm.
- 1. “Sure, why not?”
Some kinks such as light gag, if it’s common for you and doesn’t sound crazy. But your partner is still a little bit nervous about that, go for it.
- 2. “Sounds fun! Let’s do it!”
There is a situation that is great for both parties. That is the illusion of your partner is the same as yours. That’s great, isn’t it? If you encounter such a situation, play!
- 3. “I’m not sure I can do that, but I could do this instead.”
The thing to know is that the situation you are experiencing is very likely to have been encountered by others. This is why we need “Google.” In this case, try to find out what classification your kinks belong to by your search. For example, B/D, D/s in BDSM. Find out how other people are doing and then determine what you can do. Finally, show your thoughts.
- 4. “Can I have a little time to think about it?”
This is a reply that means that you value it. Take some time to understand how you feel. Some people break up because of unpleasant sexual experiences, but in their subconscious, sexual behavior and the unpleasantness of breaking up are connected. With this in mind, you can distinguish the connection between feeling and behavior. This is also a way of how we can overcome obstacles.
- 5. “I’ve never heard of that one before! Can you tell me more about it? Can I do a little research?”
Exploring is always a great way to discover new fun. Although this is often accompanied by obstacles and depression, even if you finally find that it is not for you, you can get more out of your exploration with your partner. Ask your partner if there are books, websites or videos to explore. But don’t just look at it, but make sure you can get some information from it.
- 6. “Can you show me some of the porn you watch to help me understand it a little better?”
On the issue of the new kinks, watching porn and erotica is an excellent way to understand. You need to know why they are interested in it. If you don’t hate after watching, this may be worth trying.
- 7. “I’m not turned on by that personally, but I’m turned on by you being turned on, so let’s try it!”
Love and relationships are giving and receiving. That should be half and half. If you haven’t felt any bad feeling in your sex life, that might be because of your partner’s willing. Some people may do sex acts because their partners enjoy but themselves. If you find your partner turns on by something, try to give more attention and try it with your partner except you dislike it.
- 8. “I don’t think I can do this with you — I’m sorry.”
This way, if your partner proposes something you don’t like but would like to give it a try and set your boundaries. It’s important to remember that a partner’s request cannot be a reason you don’t refuse. If you don’t want to do that, tell them straightforwardly. There is no need to feel shame and disgust when refusing; there is no need.
- 9. “I don’t think I can do this with you — but we can talk about you doing it with other people.”
Finally, there is still a possibility in real life. That is, you are not willing to accept your partner’s kinks, but you accept non-monogamy. This will allow your partner to explore new things. Find a swinger club or other related party in your local area. But the quickest way is to join a kink dating community to search and connect.